Why me?

To understand RollModel, I think its important to think back to what brought me here. And honestly, it was the question “why me?”. When I was a teenager and got diagnosed with a rare and incurable muscle disease, obviously one of the first questions I asked myself was “why me?”. There’s so many people in this big fat world and somehow I was born with a progressive muscle disease. I went about my life and mostly put it on the back burner since the only symptoms I had were not being able to run long distances and not being able to jump very high. But after 3 years of doing dance with my best friends, I had to quit doing one of the things I loved most. When I watched them on stage doing the dance that was special for seniors, I found myself sitting in the crowd asking “why me?”. Then I got into college and released that I could no longer run. Then the stairs became difficult. I had to sit and slide down the stairs with my laundry bag because I was unable to carry it down. I had to crawl up the stairs after a night out. And I fell and fell and fell. And every time I asked myself “why me?”, until it chipped and chipped away at my life. I honestly started questioning my whole existence. This already sucks and my disease is progressive so that means its just going to suck more??? The future started to become dim. But within glimpses of good moments, I realized that this is bigger than just me. I went to the LGMD conference and honestly, almost felt silly for how isolated I was before. This sounds like an ad, but the reality is, when you’ve never really felt like you belonged in the spaces you’ve occupied, there’s something refreshing about walking into a room where you’re celebrated. Community is so vital. The other people I’ve met with LGMD and other disabilities have genuinely saved my life. And they don’t even know it. So my hope is to pay that forward. The only reason I post on about my disability on social media is because if there is just one person out there who can resonate with what I put out, then its worth it. The happiest I’ve ever been is when people reach out and tell me that my videos make them feel less alone. So that’s what all this is for. This blog section will include pretty much whatever is on my mind in relation to this silly little disease. And I will also be using RollModel as a way to connect community and highlight other amazing creators who I admire. I hope you guys enjoy, thanks love you! :)